


An All-Important Question

by Endriya



Category: Horus Heresy - Various Authors, Warhammer 40.000, Warhammer 40k (Novels) - Various Authors
Genre: Light-Hearted
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-03
Updated: 2020-09-03
Packaged: 2021-03-06 18:08:27
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 716
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26273122
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Endriya/pseuds/Endriya
Summary: It was Torgaddon's ridiculous idea, as most ridiculous ideas were.
Comments: 2
Kudos: 25





	An All-Important Question

**Author's Note:**

> This is just something I had an idea for and laughed to myself about over breakfast while writing, so it may not be a great literary work, but I hope you take amusement from it as well.  
> You have [DAZzle_10](https://archiveofourown.org/users/DAZzle_10/pseuds/DAZzle_10) to thank for me sharing this.

"What?" Loken scowled. "Why do I have to go first?"  
He hadn't even started this — it was Torgaddon's ridiculous idea, as most ridiculous ideas were.  
His Mournival brothers shrugged.  
"Because we said so," Tarik told him.  
Loken scowled even more. They were all his seniors in office, and that statement sounded far too much like it relied on that fact for what he had been told was a brotherhood of equals. But then, they were also the majority, and he the minority.  
"Fine," he relented, thinking hard. "I'll, uh,"  
He stopped. "No, shit."  
That answer wouldn't do.  
"There's no wrong answer," Abaddon told him, smirking.  
"We won't force you to make good on your choices," Little Horus added.  
They continued to watch him, the three of them, and Loken felt his cheeks begin to redden.  
"Come on, Garvi, we've even given you the easy version of the question."  
"The easy version?"  
"Well, you don't have to kill anyone this way, do you?"  
Tarik was right, he supposed, but that didn't help him to come up with a satisfactory solution.  
Loken sighed. They were all still waiting expectantly for him to answer. He supposed he would just have to go with his first instinct.  
"Fine," he said again. "I'll kiss Tarik, marry Horus, and..." He trailed off again, unwilling to give voice to the last part of his answer.  
"You'll avoid me," Abaddon filled in for him sternly, voice impossibly deep and all the more intimidating for it.  
Loken found himself struck dumb beneath the disappointed glare of his First Captain, scrabbling for an answer but not knowing what to say to make it better.  
As usual, the silence was broken by the sound of Torgaddon laughing.  
"Your face, Garvi!" he roared. "Your face!"  
Abaddon broke into an amused chuckle and Little Horus grinned, and Loken realised that Abaddon had been playing with him. He smiled along as they settled down again and Ezekyle said to Little Horus,  
"Your turn."  
"Why me?" Aximand protested with a laugh which, Loken thought, was a reasonable question, as this order did not follow the circle in which they sat.  
Abaddon and Torgaddon laughed, shrugged, and Abaddon said,  
"Because we said so."  
Little Horus thought about it, his eyes narrowed and looking carefully between the three of them.  
"Right," he said at last. "I'll kiss Ezekyle, marry Garvi, and avoid Tarik."  
"Avoid me!" Torgaddon exclaimed.  
"You're annoying," Aximand reasoned. "In a good way," he added.  
"Humph," said Tarik.  
"Well, you're up next," Abaddon told him, and Torgaddon sat up straight again.  
"Me?" he asked in an exaggerated way. "Why me?"  
Abaddon looked him dead in the eye. The First Captain's face was serious, his manner domineering.  
"Because I said so."  
Tarik laughed.  
"Yes, sir!" he snapped out, with a mock salute.  
"Let me see... You know what, I'm going to marry Garvi. I'll kiss... Little Horus. It's nothing personal, Ezekyle," he said. "I just think you'd hit me if I kissed you, and I can't imagine you in a wedding dress. No, wait— I can. It's not a pretty sight."  
Loken and Aximand couldn't help but laugh at this and, although Abaddon scowled, it was clear that he struggling not to break into laughter as well.  
"Tarik," he growled, "I am not wearing a wedding dress."  
Torgaddon grinned some more until, finally, Abaddon was forced to allow a smile to creep through onto his face.  
"It's not funny," he insisted, but none of them could stop themselves from laughing.  
Eventually, as the laughter died down, Little Horus reminded them,  
"It's your turn, Ezekyle."  
"Is it? Well, alright then."  
Abaddon reined in his chortling and swept his eyes over the others, then said,  
"Right, I'll kiss Tarik, marry Aximand, and I'll have to make the avoidance between Garviel and myself mutual."  
He nodded decisively and they looked around at each other for a few seconds.  
"Well," Torgaddon said at last. "That's that, then."  
He shot a grin at Abaddon. "You sure about that wedding dress?"  
With a roar, Abaddon leapt from his seat and charged for him, arms outstretched, fingers grasping for a neck around which to close.  
Torgaddon's laughter echoed down the corridor and, when Loken and Aximand listened carefully, they were sure they could hear Abaddon's deeper timbre as well.


End file.
